What is injustice? What is justice?
In the Christian sect in which I was raised, where people are shamed for discerning right from wrong, justice becomes a rarity, if not an impossibility.
How can Christians not support discernment from right and wrong? Easy. Just equate "good, evil, knowledge and death" ALL as the same tree, ALL versus LIFE. And then convince sincere believers that if you are in the realm of right and wrong, you cannot be in the realm of life, but rather, you are in death. You may be dead right. But you are dead. And God hates death more than sin.
These are common teachings in "The Lord's Recovery." I believed them. I practiced dismissing any thoughts that something was wrong. Even when I was molested. Stay on the tree of life. After all, the predator was a leading one in the Living Stream Ministry. The manager. An older man. To be "one with him" was to be one with his dad, "The Minister of the Age." Yes, there was the smell of strong, hard liquor on his breath, being breathed into my face as his fingers pressed on my breasts, holding a tape that measured the dimension of my bust. But... just be "one with the ministry." Don't bring up good and evil, right or wrong. Just stay in "life"...
Any sense of being uncomfortable or unsettled is attributed to being on the wrong tree. So I dismissed and suppressed my discomfort, for over three decades. I always wanted to choose "life" over making an issue of something being "wrong." I applied this principle in all my affairs... until my loving father reached out, in my late 40s. He was no longer able to suppress his discomfort about what he had been told had happened to me, which the perpetrator profusely denied to my dad, and which my dad had tried to believe.
Remember, right and wrong, good and evil, knowledge... they are all on the tree of death. And God hates death more than sin. To be on the tree of life, one must not address anything that makes them uncomfortable. Discomfort? Depression? Sure signs you are on the wrong tree.
When my dad called me, months before he passed away, and asked if Philip Lee had ever touched me inappropriately, my own denial began to peel away. Around the same time, my marriage was beginning to exhibit more and more injustice - unsustainable levels of abuse.
Not being able to reason with my husband any longer, I reached out his most influential family members, and was mainly rebuked and shunned. I proceeded to reach out to some church leaders - some of the same people who had been aware in the '80s of what Philip reportedly Lee did to me (the only witness had reported my assault and - later I learned - her experience of assault by Philip Lee, and, having had a prominent role in the LSM, subsequently and mysteriously vanished from the Living Stream Ministry).
This time, with my marriage crisis, my then-teenage children were being adversely affected, and I felt I had nothing to lose. Rights were being violated. Wrong actions were going unaddressed. My children's world, as well as my own, seemed to have turned upside down. I could barely function any longer. My daughter was hospitalized due to a severe panic attack, and my son dropped out of Northeastern University, where he had a scholarship - he said all he could do was ruminate on what he could do to help make things right back at home.
I needed my basic human rights protected. I needed to be able to enter my own home without having to give 2 months' notice. I needed to be able to be with my husband. I needed to be included in financial decisions. I deserved health insurance on my husband's plan. All of these rights, and much more, were being denied.
Injustice is not just the denial of a person's rights. It is also the ignoring of the denial of a person's rights. So the clarity of the injustice of this system called "The Lord's Recovery" increased with every attempt I made to find justice. And that teenager who had been molested decades ago finally found her voice, in the now wife and mother I had become - being mistreated - not just by my husband, to whom I had and still have much compassion for, because of particular influences he is under. But the mistreatment was from my entire family-in-law (except her husband's biological father who is not "in the Lord's Recovery" and who is a very dear and true believer in Christ who discerns good from evil and always supported our marriage as well as our safety and our well-being - of my husband, me, and his grandchildren).
So what is injustice?
Some synonyms/short definitions I am finding are:
unfairness
subordination
marginalization
inequality
lack of freedom
denial of inalienable rights
exploitation
undeserved treatment
undeserved outcomes
violation of one's right(s)
unjust action
something not based on what is morally right and/or fair
unreasonableness
For years I sought justice in my own situation, mostly making a fool of myself in countless futile attempts to find someone who would stand up for what is just in my situation, not for my sake as much as for my son and daughter's sake, who still don't have their footing in their formative late-teens into mid-20's...
In the years of vainly searching for justice, more and more injustices occurred to my then minor daughter and then to both of my young adult children, at the hands of church members and family members.
The more I was ignored, the more broadly I searched for help - turning to support groups, books, documentaries, and wider circles of individuals with whom I could relate. I began learning that my situation was far from unique, far from isolated, and far from an anomaly in "The Lord's Recovery."
I learned that Watchman Nee, a highly regarded leader/minister in this group, was testified against by multiple rape victims, and himself admitted this, yet never repented to the church. Such injustice was mostly covered up.
I learned that I was far from the only victim of Philip Lee - that he and his brother had each assaulted multiple women. And these injustices had mostly been covered up.
I learned of many other wives who were abused by their husbands. These injustices are mostly covered up.
I learned of financial corruption and abuses of power and lies about so many, including whistleblowers, in what people call "The Lord's Recovery."
People ask why I am speaking out. People rebuke me for being unscriptural about speaking out. People threaten me with lawsuits and other action.
I leave you with the quote in the image, that explains why I am speaking out, and will continue to do so until I see justice.
“Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly.” ―Martin Luther King Jr., Letter from the Birmingham Jail
And so I continue to write and speak out, to the best of my ability - not against any person or organization, but against injustice.
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